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12/28/2008

Chewie Fact No. 34




Chewbacca and his soccer team, The Fuzzballs (pictured above), have won the World Cup 24 consecutive times in a row. They accomplished this by relying on Chewie's Wookiee-roar, which allowed The Fuzzballs to kick the ball in the net, while the other team lay on the ground, stunned by the piercing growl.

12/23/2008

Chewie Fact No. 33


Ewoks are just leftovers from when Chewbacca shaves his fur.

Chewie Fact No. 32



Chewbacca ran for US president '08. He decided to stop his campaign on the basis of "I have better places to enslave, like the entire Galaxy!". Several weeks later, Chewie was forcing people to vote for him for Galactic President on the basis of "Vote for me or I will rip your limbs off!".

Chewie Fact #31

Chewbacca was a pitcher for the New York Yankees in a previous life. Often the batter would purposely strike out just to be further away from Chewie's piercing growl.

Chewie Fact No. 30


Every time Chewbacca pwns some one, comic book style phrases just appear out of nowhere in fear that if they don't Chewie will pwn them too.

Chewie Fact Number 29


Chewbacca makes extra money by endorsing The Kashyyyk Times. When I say endorsing, I mean forcing Wookiees at bow caster point to buy the paper.

Chewie Fact Number 28


Lando Calrissian once forgot to pay Chewbacca back his money. Now Lando drinks threw a metal straw in his nose.

12/20/2008

Chewie Fact #27

Underneath his furry exterior, Chewie wears a bulletproof jacket to avoid being sniped in drive-by shootings comitted by those Trandosan slavers. He also keeps three chickens and a hammock underneath his knee.

12/19/2008

Chewie Fact No. 26


Chewbacca randomly recieves gold medals just because of how awesome he is.

12/13/2008

Chewbacca Fact Nuber 25

Chewbacca does not read. He stares datapads down until he gets the information he wants.

Chewie Fact Number 24



With every step, Chewbacca causes a wave of destruction.

Chewie Fact No. 23



When at the height of his power, Chewbacca can unleash a super powered force (pictured above), which can be extremely deadly. This has happened on two occasions. One, where the victim was torn in half, burst into flames, disenagrated, and repeated the process fourteen times before shattering into ten thousand pieces, which burst into flames. The second occasion, which was on a much lesser scale, resulted in Han Solo being spontaneously frozen in carbonite.

Chewbacca Fact Number 22

Chewbacca does not sleep. He waits.